Couple counselling in Singapore can be an incredibly valuable resource for couples facing challenges in their relationships. It offers a space for partners to communicate openly, work through conflicts, and strengthen their bond. However, like any form of therapy, couple counselling isn’t always a straightforward or quick fix. Many couples experience common frustrations during the process, from feeling unheard to slow progress in therapy. Understanding these complaints and how to address them can help ensure that therapy is a positive experience that ultimately leads to growth and improvement in the relationship.
1. Feeling Unheard or Misunderstood
One of the most frequent complaints in couple counselling is that one or both partners feel like their concerns are not being fully acknowledged. Sometimes, it may even seem to them that the counsellor is taking their partner’s side. This feeling of being unheard can cause frustration, disengagement, and a sense that the therapy is unproductive. In many cases, one partner may feel that they’re not being allowed to express themselves, or that their feelings are minimized by the therapist.
How to address it:
It’s important to communicate openly with your therapist about how you’re feeling during sessions. If you feel that your concerns are not being fully acknowledged, don’t hesitate to express that to your therapist. A skilled therapist will appreciate this feedback and can adjust the approach accordingly. It’s also worth considering whether both partners are contributing equally to the conversation. Sometimes, subtle dynamics—such as one person dominating the discussion or not feeling comfortable speaking up—can contribute to this issue.
If necessary, it might be helpful to consider a different approach, like incorporating more structured exercises or talking about how the therapy process can be better tailored to your needs. For example, having a conversation early on about expectations for how the therapy should unfold can ensure both partners feel heard. If you’re unsure how to navigate your first session, you may want to refer to what to expect during your first couple counselling session, which can help you prepare mentally and emotionally for the journey ahead.
2. Mismatched Counselling Styles
Couples sometimes find that the therapist’s style or methodology doesn’t align with their expectations or needs. Therapy can vary widely in approach, from more directive, solution-focused techniques to more explorative, insight-oriented methods. If the therapist’s approach doesn’t resonate with one or both partners, it can lead to frustration and a sense that therapy isn’t progressing as it should.
How to address it:
The best way to address this is to discuss your concerns openly with your therapist. A good therapist will be receptive to feedback and will work with you to adapt their approach if needed. For instance, if you prefer a more practical, step-by-step approach to resolving issues, let your therapist know so they can tailor their techniques to suit your needs. If you feel that the current therapist isn’t the right fit, it’s perfectly acceptable to seek another professional.
For those unsure about how to choose a therapist whose style and approach align with your relationship needs, learning how to find the best couple counsellor in Singapore can be a helpful starting point.
3. Slow Progress or No Visible Change
One of the most common sources of frustration in couple counselling is the perception of slow progress. Many couples enter therapy hoping for quick fixes, only to find that resolving deep-seated issues takes time and effort. Sometimes, progress isn’t immediately visible, and couples can start to question whether the therapy is effective.
How to address it:
It’s important to keep in mind that therapy is not an instant solution. Significant relationship changes, especially when dealing with deep-rooted issues like trust problems or communication breakdowns, require time and sustained effort from both partners. If you feel like progress is slow, try to focus on the smaller changes. For instance, have communication patterns improved, even if marginally? Is there more understanding between you and your partner?
Even minor shifts can be significant milestones in the therapy process. It’s also worth discussing the pace of therapy with your counsellor to ensure that both partners have a clear understanding of the goals and the timeline for achieving them. This can help manage expectations and keep the process on track.
4. Feeling Like One Person is Dominating the Sessions
Another complaint often voiced in couple counselling is the imbalance in speaking time, where one partner feels as though they are doing all the talking or dominating the session. This can lead to frustration and can prevent both individuals from feeling equally involved in the therapy process.
How to address it:
To avoid this, it’s important to be mindful of how much each partner is contributing during the session. If one person feels like they’re not being heard, they should bring it up with the therapist, who can help facilitate a more balanced conversation.
Often, therapists will employ structured techniques to ensure both partners have equal opportunities to speak. If this imbalance persists, it may be helpful to explore whether there are underlying reasons for the dynamics—such as one partner feeling hesitant to speak up or the other inadvertently dominating the conversation.
Open and honest dialogue with your therapist can help resolve this issue and ensure that both individuals feel equally involved in the therapeutic process.
5. Financial Concerns and the High Cost of Therapy
Couple counselling can be expensive, particularly if you opt for private clinics or require ongoing sessions. The cost can add financial strain, particularly if therapy extends over a longer period of time. Some couples may start therapy with high hopes but become discouraged by the expense involved.
How to address it:
If the cost of private therapy is a concern, there are alternative options to explore. Family service centres often offer subsidized rates for counselling, and some couples may benefit from online couple counselling, which can be more affordable while still providing access to licensed therapists.
Additionally, you can talk to your therapist about your financial situation and see if they can work with you on a payment plan or suggest ways to reduce the financial burden while still continuing therapy. In the long run, investing in your relationship through therapy can help avoid even greater costs—emotional and relational—down the road.
Final thoughts
Navigating couple counselling can present challenges, but these challenges can often be addressed through open communication, realistic expectations, and a willingness to adapt. Whether you’re struggling with slow progress, feeling unheard, or facing financial hurdles, it’s essential to keep the bigger picture in mind: therapy is a process, and the goal is long-term growth. By recognizing and addressing these common complaints, couples can make the most of their counselling experience, ensuring it becomes a stepping stone to a stronger and more harmonious relationship.
By approaching the therapy process with patience and transparency, you can work with your therapist to find the right solutions to your unique relationship concerns.
